“To Hell we have already been.”
galande:

thequantumqueer:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

this makes me very uncomfortable

This would mess me up because I would reach for my face and see the wrong hand go up and just completely freak out

galande:

thequantumqueer:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

this makes me very uncomfortable

This would mess me up because I would reach for my face and see the wrong hand go up and just completely freak out

blue-eyed-skeleton:

pixiiebutt:

because-blackgirls-duh:

linrenzo:

onlyblackgirl:

efecte:

sagaltesfaye:

onlyblackgirl:

I love my First Lady

Can you please tell her to tell her husband to stop killing muslims? Thanks

literally all she does is try to make the country “healthy” by giving students shitty school lunches like please do something else and help your husband fix the economy! *goes awf*

Imma need y’all to learn how the United States Government works. You don’t have to like her or the president but learn that they do not makes the decisions, they really do not have very much power, the president does not have the power to just snap his fingers and make shit happen or change things. You have to have 2/3 vote from congress to take a shit, let alone do anything having to do with government. The entire government was set up to make sure that exact thing could never happen, that is why there are 3 branches and that little thing called checks and balances.

In fact let me just break this down for y’all right here. 

  • President has 2 OFFICIAL jobs, Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces, but he only controls a limited amount of the funding for those troops (enough for 90 to 120 days) to engage these troops in combat. He CANNOT just declare war. only congress can declare war. The second, Accountant over the Federal Budget. 
  • He also is responsible for creating and balancing the national budget, but everything has to be approved by congress with a 2/3 vote. 
  • He signs bills into law, can veto them as well, however congress can override his veto. 
  • He assigns judges to the Supreme court, with the senates approval. 
  • He assigns foreign ambassadors, with the senates approval. 
  • he creates his own cabinet for people to research into areas that he might not have the time to, these are the only people who do not have to get approval from senate
  • congress is made up of 535 people (100 senators 435 HoR) for any of them to come to 1 agreement has only happened once in the history of this country, and that was to go into WWII, and even that the house voted 434 to one (1st woman house of Representative she was from Maine too, she voted against WW1 and 2)  and the judicial branch can call anything unconstitutional and kill it as well. 

and if you think i’m lying you can literally google this shit in 2 seconds. 

That tea is delicious

SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN! 

I would love for people to remember this when they want to start blaming the president. Any president, though not all of them have had good ideas.

lemme get in here a sec.

The President needs a 2/3 vote in Congress to get practically anything done, right? Well currently, the 133th US Congress is split with 53 Democratic senators and 45 Republican senators and 201 Democratic representatives and 234 Republican representatives. That makes a pretty even split between the two major political parties. Ever since President Obama was elected into office, the Republicans have voted down every piece of legislation he’s attempted to pass, in an effort to pin him as the worst president in American history, so that they can go back to their white-washed elitist lives and keep all their hoarded money from the people. The President has been doing everything he can to change things, but he cannot do that without the approval of Congress. Remember that week-long shutdown we had? Yeah, that was because the Republicans weren’t getting exactly their way with the budget, so they decided to shut down the whole goddamn government until they got their way. The United States Government relies on compromise and agreement between the two parties, and we’re seriously lacking right now in that department.

So if you want to blame someone for our country’s issues, blame the goddamn Republicans for acting like tantrum-throwing two year olds.

"Laurel Castillo is a secret weapon in the making. A quiet, sensitive idealist who enrolled in law school to learn how to defend the less fortunate." (x)

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life. (Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

rgfellows:

dandraco:

hollyoakhill:

do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared

All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.

The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.

And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)

At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.

This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.

This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.

And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."

And then there is this:

Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.

And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.

And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.

TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.

YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.

However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena. 

See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena. 

He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me. 

So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does. 

Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:

image

Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit. 

The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.” 

And it stayed.

Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.

image

loltias:

Seeing people the same age as you doing awesome things with their lifeimage

analghost:

firelord obama leads the fire nation’s first strike

analghost:

firelord obama leads the fire nation’s first strike

swanqueenidiot:

Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right

image

And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS

image

I MEAN

image

IT’S JUST TOO GREAT

image

ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF

laughhard:

I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of

laughhard:

I live in a conservative/unfunny town, so this type of thing is almost unheard of

taylornhicks:

My favorite part of this photo is that there is absolutely no reason for Jason Segel to be in it and yet there he is laying on Seth Rogen

taylornhicks:

My favorite part of this photo is that there is absolutely no reason for Jason Segel to be in it and yet there he is laying on Seth Rogen